to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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