I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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