Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
