she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
