Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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