11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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