I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
