i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
