dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
