I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
