My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
