that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
