the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
