He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
