: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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