Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
