Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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