how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
