belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
