I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
