Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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