what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
