he shaved USA in his pubs
he thought i was a dude.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
