"it" just moved
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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