a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
