if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
