so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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