I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
