That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
