ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
