He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
