if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize