I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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