You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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