i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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