I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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