i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
