Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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