my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
