shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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