we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Never joke about your clitoris.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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