Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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