ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
