I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
