i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
