Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
