It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
