P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
