I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
