My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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