so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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