You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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