Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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