How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
